Hey all.

I want to address a topic that is very solemn and hard to discuss but for my own sanity it must be said.

-Deep breaths- The topic is suicide.

Last night my best friend attempted suicide. He texted me and a few other people right before, and had I not thought it weird, he would have died. I live a good distance away from him so I could not go check on him personally. I phoned his partner to go home, and he was found passed out in the bathtub, wrists slit.

If this makes you sick, it should.

We are all numb and dumb-struck. Why didn’t we see the signs sooner? Why didn’t he say something? How could he do this to us?

It’s all a tangled mess of emotions. I am so overloaded by feelings that I don’t feel anything anymore. I feel lost and confused, and my eyes hurt from crying until I can’t cry anymore.

As you are reading this, I want you to ask yourself: Would you wish this on your very best friends? Your closest family?

If the answer is no, then why do you joke about it online?

I have seen it more times than I care to count; internet bullies threatening suicide to get attention. And then there’s always the news stories about the people who actually went through with it, leaving everyone in its wake shocked and dismayed. By acting like that, all you do is take attention away from those who are serious and really need help. You mock their pain and suffering for your inflated ego.

And then there are those, like Sam, who don’t say anything at all. Their pain is hidden deep inside or disguised in other emotions; all of it desperate pleas for help.

So please, next time you decide to pretend to commit suicide, think. Who am I hurting by doing this? Whose real plea will be drowned out because of my phony one? Is this really worth it?

And if you are considering suicide, remember that you can get help and there are people who care about you. Don’t act irrationally. Think of those whose lives will be changed forever without you in it. Even if you feel you can’t talk to anyone, there is at least one person in the world who will listen to you. That person is your lifeline at the Suicide Prevention Hotline. Call anytime, day or night, to talk to someone and they will listen, and they will help. No matter what.

In the US 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

You can also visit the website to learn more about the signs or to find help in your area; Suicide Prevention Lifeline

This stuff is real, guys, and it is no laughing matter.


For the time being I will be semi-hiatus. I will continue to check the blog and play SSO, if only for stress relief. Please be patient if you are waiting for a response from me.

I have a good support network of friends and family. I will be okay.

Please pray for Samuel Byrns and Jacob St. Clare.